outside of the box... literally.

I thought that moving to this small town would help me get my act together and become a better person. Im finding its only making me lose myself and who I really am. People around here are so enclosed in their little boxes that anything outside that box is wrong. So they are forcing me to conform into their perfect little worlds. I cant take it and I refuse to conform. Having visits from my true friends from florida and south carolina has helped me enlighten my mind and come back to the true person I am. Its a hard reality that society plays such a big part in these poor souls life. Ive tried to help them learn to expand their mind, but im only one girl in a small stubborn town. Their is no changing them. Just acceptance of who they are. I just wish they would accept me the way I accept them.

fL@w$.

what is a flaw? an imperfection? a way of describing one person from another? It is defined that a flaw is a feature that mars the perfection of something, but isn't everything imperfect in some shape or form. Is there really a perfect person out there with no flaws whatsoever inside and out? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and flaws are only the unique traits in us that set us aside from everyone else. They are not flaws but instead one of a kind characteristics that make us human.

i think im falling hard.

I never thought id find another. I never thought id move past the thought of the so-called "boy of my dreams", but a fine gentlemen swooped down and scooped me into his arms. He makes me feel different. Hes different than all the rest. The beating in my chest... the flush in my cheeks... the weakness in my legs. It all goes to show how different things are now. Its not how it was before with all the others. He passed the test. He accepted me as me. Pink hair and all. Hes about love & kindness not the physical aspect of being in a relationship. Hes mine<3 i want to shout it to the ends of the earth, you know scream it from all the rooftops.

can i play with my strings...

My hair is completely died pink. I did it to see the reactions of my "so-called" friends, strangers, and family. I got some pretty fucking stupid reactions. They call me the bizzz... pepto bizz that is(; its all good though i like being a little off and different.

just breathe...

Im back in school, for the billionth time. Hopefully this time I can make it work. I have been really looking into becoming a flight attendant, but thats still up in the air. This week I have a date everyday of the week. "The boy of my dreams" has been put on the back burner for now, but I still think of him all the time. As for now, im keeping my grades up and staying busy so I dont reminisce as much. <3

thinking of you..

I wake up and instantly wish I could fall back asleep because in my dreams are the only times i can see you now. Distance separates us but my heart continues to grow fonder and fonder. It is such a disgrace that the day that Im leaving is finally when we confess our love for each other. If there was one thing i could change about me and you... it would be our absolutely horrible timing. I'm hoping one day we will cross paths again and our hearts will feel the same, but one can only hope. love is a absolutely terrible thing. All I can do is sit, wait, and let visions of me and you continue to dance in my head.

new beginnings.

It seems I cant seem to find a place in this world. Every time I start fresh somewhere I find some way to ruin it and crush everything to miniscule pieces until every bridge Ive ever crossed in my life is burned. Time to be bob the builder and make all these bridges reappear. Can I do it? Only time and a lot of hard work will tell.